Updated: Jan 24
I had so many hopes and plans for us. So many bright ideas. I had declared that we would be better than ever. I knew in my heart of hearts that this would be different. Different than all the others before you. There were plans for birthdays, weddings, travels, and new ventures of all kinds. I was soo excited to turn the corner from 2019 to see you 2020, waiting to embrace me. I longed for your embrace. I longed to see what you had in store for me. To see if your plans were bigger for me than mine were for you. Oh 2020, the places we will go.
So, the time finally came. It's now time to cash in on all of our plans. We began with a bang! Everything was going as expected. Plans were all in order. Suddenly, a parade of punches came in. I wasn’t expecting it but hey, I can handle them. Now, another wave. And another. And another. We lost lives. All sorts of plans were cancelled. Then, you forcefully sat me down. You opened my eyes to things that could not be ignored. You gave me a voice and an audience to listen. Some listened for good and some for bad.
You held true to your promise. You were definitely different. Just not quite how I expected. A flavor like no other. One never to be forgotten. Tart, spicy, and sweet all at the same time. Sometimes a little too much for my taste. Other times, it was just right. I’m afraid to close my eyes. Will I embrace a parade of punches or a parade of hugs? Will you love me or hate me? Will you lie me to rest or allow me to live my best life? Will you sit me down or allow me to stand for what’s right? Can I trust you or will you turn your back on me? Are we enemies or allies? Sometimes the lines are blurred. Sometimes it's crystal clear.
Whatever your intention, I have learned so much from you. Can an entire year be considered as a season? Instead of 2020, can I change your name? Let’s see, what shall your name be? Hurt? Joy? Dysfunction? Pain? Bliss? Long suffering? Growth? Sickness? Grief? Healing? Change? Evolution? Revelation? Vision? Small-mindedness? Love? Oneness? Separation? Resilience? Abundance? Whatever the name, you stayed True. You were different than all others before. Just the right dose of different. You have changed and impacted my world, for good and for bad. I will never forget you! For generations to come, others will seek you out for answers. Play nice and give in to them. Feely uncover the stack of needles in the haystack that will later be sought after. I can only respect you as the force of nature that you are. You have matured and stretched me in ways I never knew where possible. I grew hatred for you at one point. That hatred later turned into understanding. You had to happen!
I now understand. You are here to teach. To teach me what love is and what love is not. What acceptance is and what acceptance is not. What go with the flow is and what it is not. What I can control and what I cannot. How to fight and how not to fight. Once you sat me down, you made me learn to apply the lessons taught. You have done your part. Now, it is up to me to practice this knowledge for a lifetime. So, 2020, I give you the title of “Educator”. A “Life Educator” to be exact. You have taught us all the hard way. By throwing the entire world into the deep end; without warning. With a sink or swim method. Or maybe, a fight-or-flight method. Experience is indeed a good teacher.
Well, I must leave you behind. I have all of my lesson for the road. I have a new confidence in myself and in the world, as a whole. I have learned that I am owed nothing, therefore I am grateful for it all. I will never forget you 2020.
Shavon A. Hampton